Opening Doors, Leaving Others Behind

I start my new job tonight.

It’s a little frightening.  There’s a lot of pressure attached to it.  This isn’t just an opportunity to change where I am, but in a sense, I’m pursuing my dreams.  I want to write, to live off writing, see if I have it in me to turn out something people are willing to pay for to read.

Meanwhile, my other job is going to be left hanging for a little while.  Things are slow there, so I’ve cut back hours to transition into this new job.  I feel like a half-person at the old place, a ghost in a sense, which is different than the prisoner I’ve felt like for the past few years.  I’m trying desperately to stay focused on work when I’m there, to keep caring about what I’m doing, but all I really want to do is swap over to this new place and leave the other entirely behind.  I’ve been trapped for so long, this tiny taste of freedom has me salivating at the bit.

I don’t know what I’ll do if this new place decides not to take me on as a permanent employee.

I guess I shouldn’t think like that.  Just need to write like I mean it.

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  1. And the professor wishes you good luck with it!

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